208.
The second experience.
While I was meditating about the secrets of conjugial love which wives keep treasured up, I saw again the golden rain mentioned before. I remembered that it had been falling
on a court in the east, where there lived three conjugial loves, that is, three couples who loved each other dearly. On seeing this I hastened to the spot, as if invited by the sweetness of meditating
on that love. As I approached, the rain turned from golden to purple, and then to scarlet, and, when I was close, to an opal colour like dew. I knocked and the door was opened. 'Take a message,' I
said to the attendant, 'to the husbands, and tell them their previous visitor who came with an angel is here again, and asks to be allowed to come in and talk with them.'
The attendant came back and
reported that the husbands had agreed, so I went in. The three husbands with their wives were together in an open courtyard, and they returned my greeting in friendly fashion. I asked the wives whether
the white dove had appeared since in the window. They said it had done so that day, and it had spread its wings. 'From that,' they said, 'we guessed you were coming and would request us to reveal
one more of the secrets of conjugial love.' 'Why do you say one,' I asked, 'when I have come here to learn many?'
[2] 'They are secrets,' they replied, 'and some of them so far surpass your wisdom
that the power of understanding in your thought-processes is unable to grasp them. You brag to us about your wisdom, but we do not brag to you about ours, although it far exceeds yours, penetrating into
your inclinations and affections, so that it can see, perceive and feel them. You know absolutely nothing about the inclinations and affections of your love, although it is these that are the source
of and determine what your intellect thinks. So they determine whether and in what way you are wise. Yet wives know these so well in their husbands, that they can see them on their faces, and hear them
in the tone of voice they use in speaking; in fact, they even feel them by touching their chests, arms and cheeks. But the zeal of our love for your happiness, and also for our own, makes us pretend
we are not aware of them; and we still control them with such prudence that we allow and suffer whatever our husbands wish, decide and will, only modifying this as far as possible, but never forcing
them.'
[3] 'Where,' I asked, 'do you get this wisdom?' 'It is innate, they answered, 'from creation and so we have it from birth. Our husbands compare it to an instinct, but we say it is by Divine
providence, so that men are made happy by means of their wives. We have been told by our husbands that the Lord wishes a male to act in freedom in accordance with reason, and his freedom, as regards
his inclinations and affections, is therefore controlled by the Lord Himself inwardly, but outwardly by means of his wife. This is how He forms a man and his wife into an angel of heaven. Moreover, love
changes its essence and it is no longer that love, if it is forced. But we will put this more openly: we are so far influenced towards this, that is, to control with prudence our husbands' inclinations
and affections, that they seem to themselves to be acting in freedom in accordance with their own reason. This is because we take delight in their love, and love nothing more than giving them delight
from our delights. If they find these feeble, they become dull for us too.'
[4] After this one of the wives went into her bedroom, and when she came back said, 'My dove is still beating its wings;
this is a sign that we may reveal more.' 'We have observed,' they said, 'various changes in inclinations and affections on the part of men. For instance, husbands feel cool towards their wives,
when they have wild ideas against the Lord and the church. They do so too, when they take pride in their own intelligence; or when they look lustfully on other people's wives; and on many other occasions.
There are differences in the coolness they feel. We notice this by the way, in the presence of our senses, sensation is withdrawn from their eyes, ears and body. These few remarks will enable you
to see that we are more aware than men whether it is well or ill with them. If they are cool towards their wives, it is ill, but well, if they feel warmly towards their wives. Wives therefore are continually
thinking up ways of making men feel warmly rather than coolly towards them, and they plan this with an awareness men find impenetrable.'
[5] When this was said, there was a sound like a dove
moaning. Then the wives said, 'This is a sign to us that although we are eager to disclose deeper secrets, we must not. It may be that you are revealing to men what you have been told.' 'Yes,' I replied;
'that is my intention. How can it hurt?' The wives had a private discussion about this, and then said, 'Reveal it, if you like. It does not escape us what power wives have to persuade; for they
will tell their husbands, "Don't take that man seriously; these are fictions, jokes based on appearances, and the usual sort of nonsense men talk. Don't believe it; believe us. We know that you are forms
of love and we are forms of obedience." So reveal this if you like, yet husbands will still not hang on your lips, but on those of the wives whom they kiss.'
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